Of course they know.
HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
CLEARLY FEM!BILBO SOLVES THE FREEMAN PROBLEM BUT HAVE WE CONSIDERED FEM!SMAUG???
MY JAW LITERALLY DROPPED WHEN I READ THIS
I HAVE ONLY JUST REALIZED THAT FEMSMAUG IS SOMETHING I HAVE WANTED ALL MY LIFE
how do i whitelist only negative posts about martin freeman and bandicoot cabbagepatch
This is what the cast of a Stonewall movie should look like, not what’s being cast.
These are just a few of the beautiful, incredible, unbelievably brave people who made our movement possible. Pay respect to the people who were involved in the Stonewall Riots by boycotting this planned whitewashed film about cis gay men and drag queens because it’s false and disrespectful to the trans women of color and the other extremely important marginalized groups that sparked the movement we have and benefit from today. Don’t allow this movie to further perpetuate the whitewashing of history and lies about who really was fighting in the Stonewall Riots.