during an accident as a child a small boy broke his arms and was then exposed to xrays these rays revealed that the boy was in fact part man, part skeleton
the SKELETON MAN
wait wait wait wait sorry
part man, part skeleton?
yess just as a centaur is part man, part horse, so too is he, part man, part skeleton
people in their teens on my dash talking about their ages and i’m just sitting here like
i think it would be neat if netflix doubled as a dating site like “here are 9 other singles in your area that watched supernatural for 12 straight hours”
what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?
i hate this i hate u
i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
being the fat friend like
i think im gonna lay down…………
THE LAW! you all thought i was going to bed! justice never sleeps, haha suckers
i was quite young when “hey ya” came out and i didn’t know that “caddy” was slang for “cadillac” so i thought that the line in the song was “don’t want to meet your daddy, just want you as my caddy” and i remember thinking, okay, he doesn’t want to commit to this girl. he’s just looking for a golfing buddy. fair enough.
i wasted my last bagel my life is over
Just get some bread and cut out a circle
i have never been so offended in my entire life