How can you make the two greatest assassins in the universe completely useless and boring?
Sometimes I want a real educational textbook about video games and their evolution from “mild curiosity” to “serious artform”, but lately I’m convinced that all such a textbook would say is: Fuckboys spent 20 years saying they wanted to be taken seriously and also women to pay attention to them, but when they got both those things it wasn’t like their hentais at all.
And then, like, 186 pages of citations.
that is the single best sentence I’ve ever read, if i could i have it framed.
Portrait I drew of the lovely Maggie Smith.
I am getting this framed and hung over my fireplace goddamn.
you’ve probably done it before
k—victoria asked about “non-ism” insults. I actually had a discussion about this with my brother a few days ago: Our favorite way to retain punch with insults while avoiding it becoming a slur toward an oppressed group is to simply stick to inanimate actions and objects (combined with appropriate vulgarities), or portmanteaus (or both!). If you think about it, you can come up with some fantastic ones that still get your point across without hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve it:
- You are fuckawful. (See, it’s like “fuck off,” “awful,” and “offal” all at once!)
- What a shithat.
- You self-wallowing pissglob.
- Whose opinion are you borrowing, you actual farthammer?
- You complete shitastrophe.
My personal favorite is “turd-suckling chucklefuck.” Also, in general, I think “asshole” is safe (correct me if I’m wrong) because just about everybody has one.
We both agreed, too, that taking a (relatively speaking) inoffensive existing insult and just adding orders of magnitude improves the power. Instead of “fuck off,” try “fuck all the way off,” or “fuck completely off my planet and into the sun.” Instead of “eat me,” consider “let me get you a spoon so you can eat my entire ass.”
There’s no insult that can’t be improved by hyperbole! Hope this helps somebody.
[submitted by arcaneloquence]
….. You are my new favorite person.
okay but what if Steve didn’t know many slang terms for hetero sex because he hit puberty surrounded by queer culture and oKAY LOOK, FONDUE SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE SLANG FOR THAT SHIT. IT MADE SENSE TO HIM AT THE TIME. THE FUCK DID YOU WANT FROM HIM; HE KNOWS LIKE TWELVE DIFFERENT WAYS TO SAY ‘BACK-ALLEY BLOWJOB’ BUT THAT SHIT ISN’T APPLICABLE HERE, IS IT
c’mon Steve she used to be a master spy, some things are just important
inspired by a wonderful tag on my hair swishing Nats (because yes I’m that creepy loser who reads every single tag none of you are safe from my prying eyes) —
which is of course based on this scene from the luminous, exuberant Brooklyn Nine-Nine