Plot twist: The next companion is a normal girl/boy who only dies once in their lifetime and has no remarkable back story but he thinks they’re wonderful because they are human and the Doctor needs reminding that you don’t need to be a mystery to be remarkable.
so basically we want Donna back
Current Doctor Who is like an ex-boyfriend I used to have a great time with and am still kind of into but lately he keeps being an asshole so it’s awkward every time I see him
#this dialogue was like watching steven moffat give himself a blow job
"…and that was the scariest thing I ever saw on Doctor Who.”
"I don’t remember that."
"It was a bonus thing on a DVD."
THIS IS A WOMAN
when people like every companion but martha
when people say “i’m not racist but i don’t like martha”
when people dislike martha because she had feelings for the doctor
when people dislike martha because she left
when people dislike martha
who keeps making these I love you
I said this exact thing THANK YOU
sure! i will make a short, bullet-pointed list of things that come to me off the top of my head
i watched it very late at night and then didn’t get very much sleep because i was so angry and then i did christmas so this is incomplete and poorly formed but i think i’m mostly clear?
- "I’m OCD, what’s their excuse?" trivialization of mental illness for a joke, ableism, just generally pointless one-off joke line
- the Doctor not wearing any clothes to greet Clara, despite having clearly proven to be aware of the societal necessity of being dressed when greeting young girls alone in a box
- the Doctor not wearing clothes when greeting Clara’s family, despite clearly being aware that this is a dumb thing. if this portrayal isn’t offensive, it makes the doctor seem stupid and ignorant, and what the hell is up with holographic clothes
- hurried wrap-up of the Papal Mainframe in a way that didn’t really make sense and still left a LOT of gaps and inconsistencies
- why is a town called Christmas. why. why was this never explained. why did they shove the Christmas theme into the audience’s faces to hard when they could very easily have made it Christmas-y in the End of Time sort of way that lets you watch the episode when it’s, like, a different season
- racial stereotyping of “he’s Swedish”
- the Doctor effectively holographically declothing Clara without her permission or understanding
- the fact that the only church/institution run by a woman requires its patrons to be naked??? this was totally unnecessary. we did not need matt smith fanservice. we can go watch christopher and his kind.
- making clara naked = making her feel weak, exposed, unsafe for no reason, esp. since she’s shown wearing clothes onstage
- the way tasha lem’s power was instantly both destroyed and reliant on her ~~sexiness~~
- nobody else can get in to trenzalore but the doctor’s cuuuute so she’ll let him down
- her altar is literally a bad. that is not even trying
- tasha lem: cardboard cutout of a sassy female character who has somehow managed to run a military church with, according to what we see with the doctor, literally no ability or power
- tasha being strong must = tasha being psycho. ableism again!!! a+!!! wouldn’t be a moffat thing without it
- "she’s my…. associate" good, because as far as we’ve seen, she isn’t your friend. we didn’t watch your relationship develop at all. but why can’t you just say companion, doctor. what is this.
- the way clara is totally tricked over by the doctor. twice. and doesn’t suspect anything
- she relies on him to save her and send her away, and it’s totally okay that he lies to her (in the view of the audience) because he’s just trying to ~help her, and he knows best, he can determine when it’s time for her to leave
- plus can we please talk about the selfishness of “i didn’t want to bury you so i sent you away to die somewhere else where i wouldn’t have to see it but would totally live the rest of your life hoping that someday i would come back”
- why were the weeping angels in there for like three seconds. that was unnecessary and felt totally forced given that we never saw them return at all
- the sympathies of the audience turned more towards the disembodied cyberman head than towards the living character in the scene, otherwise known as “in which steven moffat is better at writing robot heads than writing women”
- info dump at tasha tells the doctor who’s been there the whole time what’s been happening for the past three hundred years
- clara’s travelled through space and time frozen to the edge of the tardis but she’s totally okay. she’s just stubborn. stupid clara.
- clara getting tricked the second time because she’s ~cooking
- "that’s a WOMAN" yeah that’s your companion who’s been incapacitated and has bravely volunteered to die at the hands of the daleks in order to save the lives of the people below. her braveness and virtues are not as a result of her gender. they are because she is clara oswin oswald. maybe don’t write them off that way
- the doctor making a value comparison between a twenty first century time-and-space adventurer and the head of a giant military church from the future just because they’re women. apples to oranges, doctor. apples with boobs to oranges with boobs.
- the doctor totally fucking yelling at tasha lem with the implication that he’s doing it to support her, because he knows that’s what she needs- watching that i couldn’t help but think how typical of abusive relationships the “i’m yelling at you/criticizing you/hurting you because it’ll make you a better person/because i know what’s best” line is
- how weak tasha lem’s slap was, like a pat. you hurt me but i love you and i’m just a weak woman
- the doctor just reaching out and kissing tasha without permission
- "kiss me when i ask" "well you better ask nicely" hahaha. ha. haaa. haaaaa. not okay.
- clara’s random admission that she’s in love with the doctor when the enter the truthfield. OF COURSE she’s in love with him. how could she not be?? this makes his nakedness at the start even more inappropriate. more about me disliking doctor/companion romance things here, with a focus on the “very old man picks up generally young girl in time machine. i will save you, he says. now you have an unspoken debt to me. and if you deny my advances, i can totally leave you stranded and alone on an alien world” squick
- and “i only went with him because i fancy-” like the only reason for a woman to travel through time and space is because you’re attracted to some guy
- what the fuck was the truthfield
- what the fuck was the point of tHE QUESTIONN
- what the fuck was this whole plot
- the random plot mess that was the crack in time and space opening again and the time lords in the crack and the daleks in space and NOBODY SUCCEEDING IN BLOWING UP THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN LET THE TIME LORDS OUT why is he the only person who can let the time lords out how is this time stream working what happened to all the name of the doctor storyline bits where clara and the doctor go there and PARADOXES SO MANY PARADOXES
- the whole plot was rushed and convoluted and difficult to connect to. too much focus on action and not enough on character relationships/connections/development
- the time lords gave the doctor more regenerations becuase???? they love him??? and clara asked them to??? nicely???
- guess who failed the bechdel test again? it’s steven moffat
- regeneration occurring just for a “it’s magic time lord science thing so it happened” sort of bullshit reason
- if the time lords can send out random regeneration energy into the doctor they can probably squeeze through the crack themselves
- once again clara is sort of left behind as the doctor focuses on amy pond. even when she isn’t there. i’m getting quite a martha jones vibe there.
- clara once again being relegated to a “impossible girl” place, where she’s just a mystery to be solved and something obnoxious to get rid of and not a FRIEND
- plus like literally most of the premise of the stalemate was that nobody wanted to go first and that’s???? not a good reason to wait for several hundred years
- making the doctor get super old felt really??? thanks for letting eleven die of old age /in the space of one episode/
- basically the whole thing had all of my usual moffat criticisms which are summed up here. but it was exacerbated a thousand times