solyennee:
imagineyuorotp:
Imagine your OTP reading the fanfics you wrote and looking at the art you drew and making fun of them. Person B laughs so hard they cry.
that time EDI found allianceofourown.org and shared her findings with the crew. for research.
‘I’m a say-what-now on Omega?’ James asks.
‘Pole dancer,’ Steve replies. ‘It scans. Jimmy Vega: Pole dancer from Omega. You know, if Aria’s smart, she’ll cash in on that.’
‘Already has,’ Garrus adds, on his way through the shuttle bay.
*
‘Hardly accurate,’ Garrus says, shaking his head with a sigh. ‘If the calibrations were really naughty, I wouldn’t sound nearly so…what was the rating again?’
‘M for Mature, no Alliance Archive warnings apply,’ EDI replies. ‘There are others that are rated X for Xeno if you are interested in sampling a broader selection of literature.’
‘Do they think I’m handsome?’ Garrus asks.
‘The handsomest,’ EDI says, and transfers the files.
*
‘And here I thought shipping had to do with actual ships,’ Shepard says. ‘What’s that phrase you were using… ‘Thruster’ or something?’
‘Canon,’ EDI replies. ‘I picked this one out specifically for you, Commander Shepard. Seventy-eight chapters, several thousand approval ratings, over two hundred thousand words total. An ‘alternate universe’ focusing on the relationship between a hardened merc named John Shepard and his closest friend in the galaxy, Garrus Vakarian.’
‘I’ll, uh, be in my cabin,’ Shepard says. ‘Gotta catch up on my reading.’
*
‘Three thousand and how many entries about my backside?’ Kaidan asks.
‘Three thousand and sixty-one as of oh-nine-hundred,’ EDI replies. ‘They are generally quite favorable, though there is some disagreement about the proper spelling of your first name.’
‘Yeah,’ Kaidan says. ‘I get that a lot, actually.’
*
Some of EDI’s favorite pieces were written by a user known simply as L3G10N. EDI leaves them all positive reviews.
This is a wonderful rare pairing. Shepard-Commander and the rogue synthetic give me many ‘feels.’ I only wish there could be more about them in the future.
*
Humans especially appear to be fascinated by the sexual potential of any being with tentacles. When EDI asks Samantha Traynor why that is, her blush is truly the color of a dewy rose petal.
*
‘Jeff,’ EDI says, ‘I believe I am capable of understanding contextually, but I wish to be certain of the meaning nonetheless: what is a member, and why is it at its most attractive state while pulsing?’
A few near-crashes keep the crew lively and entertained.
‘So,’ Jeff says. ‘Wonders of the extranet finally caught up with you, huh? And this is what we’re fighting to save.’
He admits later—during multiple pulse attempts, after offering a dramatic reading punctuated by vibrant laughter—that he’s read a few of them himself already, ‘Now Thane and Shepard,’ he says, shaking his head, hair messy from the cap. ‘Seriously—meant to be or made for each other.’
*
They have the same ship and the same ships.
EDI is satisfied.
