[made rebloggable by request]
all the ways.
no, literally, all the ways.
Okay, this is the…super extra sparknotes version of my dissertation on Harry Potter and the ways its worldbuilding is just asking to be shaken to pieces. It’s called:
~*Ten Ways To Irreparably Fuck Up a Civilization: A Harry Potter Rant*~
1.) Put the major base of your economic power—such as a national bank—in the hands of a class you are busy oppressing. Because goblins definitely have forgotten centuries of warfare and specicide anti-goblin sentiment and will totally treat your ancestral gold with the fairness and even-handedness it deserves. Ditto with house elves and your children.
2.) Don’t try to understand or theorize about how your power works. Do not inquire as to how a particular measure—spell, hex, or charm—works. Do not try to test its effects. If a spell builds a house, do not attempt to test the durability of the roof—the roof will have come into existence with the necessary durability for roofs. Do not ask why a perfectly ordinary Latinate word and a stick of wood conjures the Platonic Form of a roof. Have no engineers or philosophers. Make sure no one thinks the phrase “hypothesis.” Make sure no one tests theirs.
3.) Make sure the schooling that you do offer is, essentially, a technical school. Make no attempt to teach students how to write, read, do maths, or think critically, even though those skills may be required. Those who do not arrive with such skills must learn them independently, because helping students with learning disabilities or those who come from difficult home lives is for chumps. Also, make sure to sow the seeds of deep social divides that will persist through your population’s adult life.
…there is no alternative.
4.) Don’t have any institutionalized pre-schooling or post-secondary education. Because everyone worth educating has access to tutors, or parents who have the time, energy, and ability to teach. Do not have institutions for further learning, because there is nothing more to learn. Do no try to understand how your power works.
5.) Allow the government to be the single biggest employer. Small businesses may be tolerated, but private chains, corporations, or conglomerates should not be allowed to operate independently. Make sure that your population gets its news from the government. Dissenting voices that cannot be rendered unemployed can be narratively shamed.
6.) …and then have that government rife with corruption and barely representative. The people in power now should be descendant from the people in power then. They should love their own kind. Trial by jury is unnecessary. Elections are unheard of. Influence talks, and money covers a multitude of sins. Nothing says forgiveness like a bag of galleons and an invitation to the Malfoys’.
7.) Don’t innovate. Your mores should be Victorian and your aesthetic Medieval. “Technology” is a broom, a radio, and an hourglass.
8.) Don’t have any contact beyond the incidental with the civilization literally occupying the same space as yours. Particularly if there is significant crossover in population. In fact, make sure those individuals who emigrate from that civilization cannot return, cannot discuss their new country with friends and family, or use their new-found knowledge to help those friends and family. God forbid they try and help that civilization in turn.
Reduce interest in their world to a laughable hobby. You are the only civilization for them now.
9.) Ensure that all those who do not fall within specific parameters are labeled Other and de facto exiled from your civilization. Particularly squibs and werewolves and other species. An accident of birth implies someone isn’t at fault.
10.) Expect people to quietly stand by. Some of them will. Most of them will. But sooner or later you’ll piss one off, and all the ones who have been afraid to speak out will nod, will join in, and the whole affair will come tumbling down around your ears as that one troublemaker screams to the heavens for justice and knowledge and innovation and truth and light and then my dears
your civilization is well and truly fucked
friendly reminder that if harry would have been a girl snape would have treated her like petyr baelish treats sansa stark ✿◕‿◕✿
when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires
hermione + correct dress colours
Infamous 3rd year “My father will hear about this” Draco refusing to participate in Lupin’s class on boggarts because the whole thing is ridiculous but when it’s his turn he walks up to the wardrobe and Lucius Malfoy steps out
THIS UPSETS ME
A beautifully done interpretation of the Slytherin dorms.
The pool of water/ceiling light is based on the idea of an aristocratic Roman impluvium/compluvium. Gryffindor has a furnace in the center of the dorm rooms, so it seemed like an nice yin-yang effect as Gryffindor=fire and Slytherin=water. I’m not sure if the compluvium would magically let rainwater (and snow, and hail!?) in from the lake above, or not. I think it should.
where is the harry potter fic where harry has to deal with the fact that ginny weasely is deeply fucked over by childhood insecurities and trust issues from her family and then by her terrible first year at hogwarts and then by her terrible sixth year of hogwarts she was the ringleader of organized guerilla rebellion against a crushing occupationist force when she was sixteen. SIXTEEN.
she is not harry’s happy ending. she was a child in the shadow of her parent’s war and she got her first wounds from it when she was eleven and alone and she carried those scars forward into battle again and again—when she was fourteen, when she was fifteen. she grew up violent and angry under terrible pressure and she’s never going to be anyone’s reward.
i want to see harry fucking realize that. i want to see him wake up at night with her wand at his throat and love her anyway. i want to see him make her sandwiches when her hands are shaking too bad from curse damage to hold utensils. i want to see him get the fuck over himself and earn her.
A Harry Potter AU where everything’s exactly the same, except the house elves look like Lord of the Rings elves and Dobby’s, like, played by Orlando Bloom. But they’re still not allowed to have clothes
orlando bloom hitting himself in the face with a lamp